Grateful No Matter What

Dear God,

I am grateful for this time I have been given. I am grateful for my life despite my circumstances. I am grateful for Your infinite love, Your redeeming grace, Your calm reassurances. How grateful I am for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, for the light and knowledge you have given me and those who came before. How grateful I am for the hope you've instilled in me, for the hope that is possible because of Your Son.

Heavenly Father, thank-You for the parents you have given me and the family that I cherish. Thank-You for ever watching over me, for blessing me with this beautiful world. Thank-You for healing my sin sick soul.

Sincerely,

Job

Nothing Wavering

Dear God,

I've been fighting real hard this month to free myself from the bonds of addiction. Just when I begin to feel like I am a free man I feel the tug of a tightening chain, which causes me to waiver and then remember that although I am moving away from the ball, I am still a slave to a master that knows me too well. 

I have listened to the sound of pornography, covered the screen with my hand to censor the pornography, searched for images that sometimes bring up pornography, watched films that I didn't know would expose me to pornography. My one vice. 

Heavenly Father, how do I eradicate every form of sexuality from my existence? How do I deny my natural man that longs for intimacy with another human being? No sex? Check. No relationships?  Check. No kissing? Check. No cuddling? Check. No hand-holding? Check. No one to love? Check. I have denied myself of all these things in order to keep the commandments, yet I fail by looking at pornography because my natural man is desperate for release and connection but there is no appropriate venue through which I can channel my sexual energy. 

I often feel my life would be better had my body never gone through puberty. I would be free. No ball and chains. No denying or suppressing myself. No longing for intimacy. I could live in the innocence of childhood dreams and unbridled imagination. I could see what I once saw and feel what I once felt, basking in the richness of the only life I would know. 

I guess all I can ask You for is mercy so please, Father, have mercy on me on the day of judgement. I plead for Christ and His redeeming atonement to carry me through life. I ask in faith, nothing wavering. 

Sincerely, 

Job